The Realities of Balancing Work and Childcare: Modern Motherhood, Flexible Working & the Invisible Load

It was 8.38am. The kids had left for school and I was congratulating myself for getting everyone out the door (albeit 8 minutes late). As I walked back upstairs, I stopped. Oh no! They’d forgotten their school bags. I rung Gareth. No, he wasn't interested in making a u-turn back home to collect school bags. "We're late as it is. They'll just have to learn their lesson," he said.

So, no water bottles for either and no packed lunch for the little one. I couldn’t bear that (and plus I had woken early just to make the packed lunch!). Decision made.

I rushed into the shower. Nevermind those first seconds whilst the water warmed up. I went in cold. Not because of some wellness hack or TikTok trend — simply because there wasn’t time to spare.

I dashed around getting dressed, grabbed the car keys, shoved my feet into my trusty trainers and flew out the door to play emergency courier. No time to tidy the kitchen before I left. That sore sight would have to wait until the evening.

Welcome to weekday mornings in modern family life. Chaotic, funny in hindsight, but exhausting in the moment. And for working parents — especially mothers — it’s the daily backdrop to an even bigger challenge: holding down jobs, careers, businesses and ambitions while childcare, housework, and endless “life admin” march on relentlessly in the background.

The Return-to-Work Reality

After seven years of juggling nursery runs, part-time hours and “working from anywhere,” this September marked my return to the office five days a week. Consistency is a relief. A hot cup of tea (that I actually get to drink while still hot) feels like a luxury. But let's not get carried away: my hours aren’t 9–5. They’re 9.30–2.30. The school run carves my day into chunks, so work often spills over into evenings once the kids are in bed.

Compressed hours? That doesn’t cover it. The reality is the workload can't physically be done in the compressed hours, so I just hide behind the polite language of “flexibility.”

The Financial Squeeze

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: childcare costs. The UK has some of the highest childcare fees in Europe. No matter which option families choose — nursery, childminders, after-school clubs, nannies — the costs are significant. And they add up fast. For many parents, it feels like working simply funds the privilege of childcare while you… work.

For some, grandparents provide the safety net, but that’s not always straightforward either. Many live too far away, still work themselves, or simply don’t have the energy to run around after toddlers and school-age children every day. And without that “free childcare safety net,” the juggling act becomes even harder, leaving parents scrambling between rising costs, stretched schedules and tough decisions about whether work even “pays” once childcare is factored in.

It’s not just about money, either. It’s the logistics; the constant arranging, the contingency plans for when a child is sick, and the negotiations about who can step out of work to cover. Childcare isn’t a neat, Monday-to-Friday 9–5 package. And yet, work still assumes it is.

The Invisible Load

Even when the office day ends, the second shift begins. After-school clubs, dinner, homework, laundry, housework, bathtime, bedtime — and then finally, the laptop reopens for the unfinished work tasks. It’s a routine many working mothers know all too well.

Sociologists call it the “invisible load”; the planning, organising, remembering, and emotional labour that keeps a household running. In other words, it’s the bit no one writes on the family calendar.

Just the other day, we ran out of milk, bread, eggs — the lot. It was my first week back in the office five days a week. Before that, when I was home part of the week, I was (mostly) on top of the chores. But suddenly, I was out of sync, and the whole household came unstuck. This is where other mums swear by online shopping and how it makes life so much easier, but can I remember my Ocado password? Weekly 30% off codes are no good if you never log in. Cue the “we’re out of milk again” loop running on repeat.

And here’s a true story: I dropped Elin at a playdate and planned to dash to Tesco. But with the invitation of a glass of wine and a good old chat, I stayed. The shopping could wait. And in the end? We ordered a Tesco Whoosh — her groceries and mine, bundled together. A problem shared is a problem solved.

It’s not about wanting applause. It’s simply the quiet reality of keeping family life afloat. And because so much of it is unseen, it often gets underestimated, even by the people doing it.

The trick, I’ve realised, isn’t in trying to do it all perfectly (spoiler: you won’t). It’s about finding small systems, shortcuts, and, perhaps most importantly, moments of humour to keep going.

Why Flexibility Matters

Campaigners like Mother Pukka have been pushing for years to make flexible working and accessible childcare mainstream. And they’re right. For many families, flexibility is the only way parents can keep working without burning out completely.

The pandemic briefly made working from home feel normal. Zoom calls with toddlers wandering in and schoolwork done at the kitchen table were part of everyday life. But as offices reopened, the conversation shifted again. Some thrive on WFH. Personally, I prefer the office. I like the separation, the focus, and yes, the hot tea. But I can completely understand why many prefer the flexibility of working from home.

Cocorose and Chaos

And then there’s the small matter of getting dressed. Running a shoe company doesn’t necessarily mean you have time to curate picture-perfect outfits. More often than not, I wear the same trusty pair of Cocorose trainers on repeat. Some might call that ridiculous — I design shoes for a living, after all.

But when life is chaotic, knowing I can slip into comfortable trainers that look put-together while letting me sprint to school, run to meetings, and stand for hours, is gold. One less decision in a day full of them. One tiny piece of calm amid the noise.

The Big Question Marks

The government is doing more — the 15- and 30-hour free childcare schemes have been welcomed by many parents. But they’ve also left private nurseries struggling, as funding rarely covers the true cost of provision. Parents, meanwhile, still face a patchwork system where “free” hours don’t necessarily add up to the care they actually need.

So where does this leave us? Are workplaces doing enough? Honestly, I don’t know. When you run your own business, you are the workplace. If I don’t do the work, it doesn’t get done. There’s no flexible policy to apply for; there’s just reality.

And society? That’s trickier still. Childcare costs are crippling many families, and while government schemes help, they don’t always stretch far enough. Should there be more investment? Possibly. But with councils on the brink of bankruptcy, nurseries closing, families squeezed, and resources already stretched thin, the solutions are far from simple.

What I do know is this: parents, and mothers in particular, are multi-tasking like never before, and the cracks are beginning to show. The conversation about how we support families — through policy, workplaces, and communities — has never been more urgent.

Finding Joy in the Juggle

And yet, amid the exhaustion, there are moments of humour and joy. The neighbour who jokes that our morning school run is their alarm clock. The triumphant feeling of drinking tea whilst it’s still hot. The quiet satisfaction of slipping into bed knowing the kids made it to school with their bags.

The juggle is real, and sometimes overwhelming. But it’s also life. This is the messy, hilarious, and often exhausting reality of modern motherhood; childcare costs, invisible loads, flexible working challenges and all. Through it, I’ve learned that while we can’t do everything, we can keep supporting each other and moving forward; with humour, resilience and a very comfortable (and stylish) pair of shoes. That’s definitely one small win worth celebrating.

From chaos to comfort, we’re all in this together. Share this article with another mum who’s balancing it all — and remind her she’s not alone.

And better yet, why not browse our collection of stylish and comfortable trainers? Go on, put the kettle on, put your feet up and treat yourself xx